end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
