Got a toothbrush?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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