hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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