Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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