omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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