a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
