How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
