That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
