The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
