there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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