somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
