how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
