yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
please come you make the beer taste better
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
