they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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