I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Life is so much better after having sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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