honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
