ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
