Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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