It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize