Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
