Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
