it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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