THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I just put wine in my tea
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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