Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
