dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
