omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
