hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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