I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
