When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my being single is dangerous.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
