i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
