She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
