I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The feeling are messing with the penis
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
