Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
