I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize