lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
