I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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