Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
