I can tuck mytits in my pants
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
