I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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