We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Are we still banned from the library?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
