You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
