we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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