I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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