Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
