ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
