When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
