This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize