i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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