Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
