It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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