I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
