I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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