Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
