Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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