I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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