No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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