Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
